How'd This Happen?

I hate that it's Monday morning already! I had such a great 'nothing' kind of weekend, but it seems to have gone so fast.

I cooked yesterday. Greek stuffed peppers and veggie lasagne. So dinner won't be a challenge this week. Lasagne/Stuffed peppers/Tacos/Shrimp Salad. There's lots, so lunches might even be taken care of.

Grind, grind, back to the grind.

Why can't I be independently wealthy? That'd be fun. For awhile anyway.

Fire Mountain's Bead Competition has started. I'm entering two pieces. Just for the heck of it. The daily challenge of not losing my shit at work can't be the only challenge I face. Hence the bead challenge. Stay tuned.

We wanted to go to the beach over the 2nd weekend in August. Do you think I can find a campsite? Hell no. How about a hotel room that dosen't cost between 150 and 170 a night? Hell no again. Sheesh. You're killing me here. I need some salt air!

Eh. Carry on.

FLIES

The Amish Window Mafia has been here all week. They're nice guys, and very hard workers, but I'm rather irritated right now. Since they're working on the windows between rainstorms, they tend to leave things OPEN.

And every fly in the county has either been in my house, or is in my house.

It's very annoying to be buzzed by flies while I'm trying to type.

The fly body count is piling up, let me tell you. I'm wicked fast with the swatter.

Not fast enough, apparently, because there's one buzzing by me right now. Grrr!!

Guy Fieri You Big Sellout

I am a Food Network junkie. I don't like Emeril (overexposured) and Rachael Ray needs to just chill out a little bit. (Again, overexposured) My latest 'guy' was Guy Fieri. Big and loud, with spiky hair, tattoos, cool cars, and a big fun attitude, I was all about Guy. He has a show, "Guy's Big Bite" which isn't all that great, and some recipe competition show where 'real' people come and cook their recipes, but his other show "Diners, Drive Ins & Dives" is GREAT. Guy goes to all these NON-CHAIN restaurants around the US, visits them, hangs out, and generally has a good time. Greasy spoons, holes in the walls, the local diner where your grandfather took your father who took you. All the while saying mostly the same thing - "Good local food. Not from a chain restaurant. Made fresh every day." (Or in an interview I read with him, "Real food for real people."

Guy is deep on my shit list now. Last week a saw a commerical for TGI FUCKING FRIDAYS that featured no other than Guy Fieri talking about now you can go to your local TGI FUCKING FRIDAY and get food that is made from the winning recipes from the Food Network Challenge show.

So much for non-chain cookie cutter food. And Guy, I'm so disappointed in you. I know you own a couple restaurants in California, but TGI FUCKING FRIDAYS? I gave you more credit than that.

Sadly, I'm going to have to add Guy to my list of 'sell outs'. Along with the CrApplebee's whore, Tyler Florence. I just don't get people who had cooking shows TEACHING people about REAL food, then turn around and shill for bullshit crap food emporiums. Whats up with that, Guy? I had such faith in you.

Add this to the mix- Guy has a several restaurants in Southern California, one of which being Tex Wasabis. It's a sushi and BARBEQUE place. No shit. If he hadn't turned on me, I'd love him that much more. Sushi and 'que. Who'da thunk? Tex Wasabi's has multiple locations, as does his other venture Johnny Garlic's. I'm SURE they still compete with CrApplebees, and TGIFuckingFridays too. Tsk, tsk.

Some other day I'll bitch about Sandra Lee and her goddamn tablescapes, pneumatic boobs, and color freaking coordinated kitchens.

Finding my Zen

Several years ago, I was fond of saying, "I'm so laid back, I'm horizontal" Not much bothered me. I didn't fly off the handle. I didn't freak out over stuff. I was very, very mellow. Very, very chilled out, level headed, just plain old unflappable.

Somewhere along the line, I've lost that. Daily I feel I'm on the verge of freaking the fuck out on someone. I feel like I'm just this close to losing my shit over something that not too long ago wouldn't have bothered me one little bit.

This bothers me. I don't want to be known for having a short fuse, a bad temper, or just being a bitch, but I feel like I've become all of the above. After last year's scathing mid-year review, and the revelation that people are afraid to ask me questions because they didn't know if I'd snap on them or not (Silly me, I didn't even realize this) I started thinking about it. To my defense, I was in a VERY bad place 'professionally' last year at this time, what with being in a new position lacking direction (and I wish I could vent all that here, alas, I promised I wouldn't, and the spies are still afoot, or should I say, ablog)

Anyway, I'm very bothered by this. I want my Zen back. I want to not be bothered by stupid shit that, next year, won't be remembered by anyone. I think now that I'm more aware of it, I can remember to breathe and not freak, but it's going to be a constant battle until I'm back in my quiet head again.

Suggestions?