Revelations

These are things that have revealed themselves to me lately:

1. Old debts stick around forever, and accumulate insane interest rates. However, when you pay them off, it seems that the companies don't have the same enthusiasm for sending you the pay off letter as they do the dunning notices. I thought after 7 years a bad debt went away. Ha. A credit card with a 1500 dollar limit in 1990 has now blossomed into a 6500 debt. My credit is so fucked up that even if I paid this thing it wouldn't help. So, I'm not paying it. Ever. Fuggum.

2. Don't help your friends with affairs of the heart. If they call and go into great detail about how stressed a situation is, and how they're SO confused and SO torn, and how they don't THINK they want to be in the situation. They're venting. They're sharing their drama with you. Say, "there, there, it'll be fine" or other words of comfort. Don't try and help them. They don't really want your help, they just want to vent. If you love them, let them deal with it on your own. It'll save you from looking like an ass, and it'll decrease their drama level dramatically. Intervene only if there has been physical violence. Drama never really hurt anyone.

3. Toast does always fall butter side down. Especially if you haven't mopped the floor this week.

4. When asked "What do you want for Christmas" say whatever comes to mind. Chances are good you'll get whatever the person damn well feels like buying. Or nothing at all. Gift cards are always appreciated. (This refers to my Mom who starts asking that question before Thanksgiving. I've told her I want a new Dremel tool with the many attachments. I might as well be asking her for a camel or a brahma bull. I can see her shopping....."Dremel tool? I don't know anything about those, Horrific clothes from Dress Barn it is!")

5. No matter how well stocked with baking items you are, when it comes down to the actual baking, you'll be missing something.

6. Walmart is REALLY scary at Christmas. Walmart is really scary any time after 9:00 am. If you must go, go between 6:00 am and 8:45 am. You'll thank me for it.

7. Volunteer to make jewelry for friends ONLY if you know the technique very well. Do NOT volunteer to make a very special item without having a working knowledge of what you're doing. This will greatly reduce your stress level.

8. Agree with any plans family related unless it's totally against your principles. Having dinner the night before Christmas instead of Christmas day isn't going to change your world that bad. Nor is having the dinner at a remote location going to upset the cosmic balance of your universe. It's that time of year. Smile sweetly and move on.

9. Eight O'Clock coffee. A damn fine cup of coffee. At 3.50 a bag (sometimes on sale for 2 fer 5) it's much better tasting than Folgers (in their hated PLASTIC tub) and costs much, much less than the high falutin' brands. And the flavored ones aren't hateful either (Hazlenut or Vanilla)

10. You'll never finish all those projects by Christmas. It's a nice thought, but unless you start in April, you'll never get it all done.

And thats it. My revelations for this holiday time o' year.