Midnight Manuevers

So I bring Obbie his wake up cup of coffee this morning. "Did David Blaine make it out of his tank?" I asked. (For I fell asleep, like I usually do when I go up to bed to watch television.)

"Nah, he only made it 7 minutes. And so did you. You were fast asleep when I got up here. But in a pretty bad mood."

"Oh? How could you tell I was in a bad mood if I was sleeping? I don't remember that, I just remember going to sleep. What did I do now?"

He chuckled. "You don't remember anything?"

"Nope"

"Oh well let me tell you...First, when I came in, I kicked one of your shoes. You jumped out of bed, and started throwing all your shoes into a pile, and bitching that I kick your shoes every time I get up in the night. Which I do because you take off your shoes and let them lay where they drop. But you threw every one of them into a pile, and then climbed back into bed, and within two seconds you were snoring again." (An outright lie, because I do NOT snore)

But wait, theres more.

"Then, I asked you if you wanted the TV off. You shouted NO! and then went back to sleep. Seinfeld was on, and you woke up to hear one of the jokes, laughed like hell and went back to snoring." (More lies, snoring again)

"I'm sorry, but I don't remember that at all."

"THEN, I reminded you to take off your glasses. You got all snotty with me and said, "Yes I know", and rolled back over to sleep."

"But I don't remember any of it."

"Thats good, because you were really mean, and my feelings were hurt. But if you don't remember doing it, you weren't trying to be mean."

He must be a glutton for punishment for when I fall asleep on the couch, he comes and gets me up in the wee hours of the morning to come sleep in bed.

Last week, I sat bold upright in bed and said loudly, "BUT WE DID QUILT!!". I have never quilted in my life, so I haven't clue one where that came from. He told me to lay down and go back to sleep, so I did.

This all kind of makes me feel bad, I don't think I'm a mean person, but apparently the sleeping me is. Poor Obbie.

I'm may be mean at night, but dammit, I do not snore.