Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Easter was okay. We had a nice feast with Mom. She made ham, shrimp, broccoli cauliflower salad, and fresh fruit. We brought a sugarfree blueberry cheesecake pie. It was pretty tasty for being sugarfree. Mom, as always, made sure we both had Easter baskets. Obbie was thrilled, because he hasn't had an Easter basket in many, many years. Of course, after she gives me 8 pounds of candy, she tells Obbie about how "Prone to diabetes" I allegedly am, and that I should lose 30 pounds. I said, "The last time I lost 30 pounds, you asked me if I had AIDS" She shot back, "Losing that kind of weight was really unexpected..." Uh, thanks Mom.

That got me thinking. As long as I can remember, my Mom has been on a diet. We've always had diet soda (TAB!!) and margarine in the house. Diet this and sugar free that. Mom isn't skinny either, and never really has been. We are blessed with big asses. But she's so concious of calories, and is always on some sort of diet. Now it's Weight Watchers. Again. But she hounds me terribly about losing weight. Always has. I remember when I was in sixth grade, I hit 100 pounds. Boy, she ragged me something fierce about hitting the 100 pound mark! It hurt then, and still does a little. She watched everything my brother and I ate. So after school, we'd sneak down to the local 7-11 and spend our allowance on crap and eat it all before she got home. Then hide the wrappers. Then then was my grandmother, who lived across town and was a great cook. She'd make treats for Sam & I all the time. Which drove my mom nuts, but I think that was part of the plan. Weirdness.

So now I'm an overweight adult. I have to shop in the fat clothes section of the stores (suck) Some people act like I'm not aware of my weight. THEY feel the need to watch what I eat (because apparently I don't) and then comment on what I'm eating, and why I shouldn't be eating it. I'm always aware of what I'm putting in my mouth, whether it's at work, a party, or just a dinner out. I know most people don't care, but some do, and make remarks.

I'm not turning this into a weight loss blog. Not my style to publicly go on and on about my love/hate relationship with food. I tried some weight loss forums, but they border on manic. After reading a long and angst ridden post about how many carbs and calories are in LIP GLOSS I decided they're not for me. Even my mania has it's limits. I'm trying to lose, I always am. But you'll know it when it happens, not every agonizing calorie between now and then. Now, about that peanut butter egg....

In other news, both Obbie and I were in moods after work last night, so we went for a stroll in the mountains again. Just a mile this time, and it seemed to help a little. By the end of the trail, neither of us was bitching anymore. Actually, we don't talk of such 'wwww' related issues on the trail. Just in the car to the trails. Don't want to sully the nature of nature with such mundane stuff.

And lo, it's time to go.

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