Thursday, February 09, 2006

Oh where to begin!!

I'm not big on awards shows. They bore me to tears, with all the 'heartfelt' speeches and the long, drawout musical numbers. The don't work well with my ADD/parakeet attention span. I haven't ever watched one from beginning to end. I just can't stomach it.

But I love to watch the people. And being the snarky beech I am, there is much commenting. Last night was no exception.

First off. Madonna. She's getting skinnier. And paler. Yuck. But it was a cool song, but a weird dance thing. She's still a 'ho. What was the deal with the knee high hose?

Mariah Carey needs shot. Plain and simple. I'm not sure why everyone is gushing all over her. She pours herself into those awful outfits, and is just so damn dramatic with her shaking and squealing and stomping around the stage. Eek. I was afraid those big old ham titties of hers were going to pop out and we were all going to go blind.

Teri Hatcher. Teri, Teri, Teri. What HAVE you done to yourself? You're too skinny, too scary, and for Gods sake, WHAT was up with that dress?? Bad, bad, bad. Your scholarship to the Lindsay Lohan school of nutrition wasn't a very good idea. Go back to the way you were in Superman. Not bony, not gaunt, not scary. I'm just glad you weren't wearing black and white fur, you'd have looked like Cruella DeVille.

U2. Ugh.

Kelly Clarkson. Beat out Bonnie Raitt? Good Christ was has this world come to!! A manufactured star beating out some serious musicians. Sure, KC is talented in her own way, but to win MULTIPLE times! Puh-leeeze!!

Black Eyed Peas. Don't do drugs.

I don't get Coldplay at all either. They're okay, but not gush worthy for goodness sakes. People act like they're the second coming of Christ or something.

And with that, I turned it off. I couldn't do it anymore. I surfed over to the History Channel where I watched a VERY interesting program on demolition, and the big machines they use to demolish buildings. Cooool. Now THAT is entertainment!

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