Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Dammit! It's V-Day and I Haven't Anything Snarky To Say

Yeah right. Like any of you believe THAT. I'm rarely at a loss for snarky. For the first time in many moons, I HAVE a reason not to be an asshole on Valentines Day. It's a new experience for me, thats for sure.

But I'm not abandoning the whole, "VDay Sucks" camp quite yet. I still think that you should be sweet to your honey all year round, not just one day a year. I still think that those price gouging bastards at Hallmark should be shot en masse. ($2.99 for A CHEAP CARD?! Puh-leeze) And then there are the florists.

Ah. The florists.

Help me out here. Sign at the flower shoppe reads: "Roses, $59.99 a dozen! Order now!!" $59.99 a DOZEN? A dozen what? A dozen dozen? (thats just gross....ha) Then while you're still in shock from the 60 buck roses, you pass the gas station-mini mart. In the parking lot is a truck. On the truck is a sign, "Roses $19.99 a dozen" Hrmmm...What goes on here? Are the 20 buck roses made in Cambodia by little blind children? Is Kathie Lee behind this scam too? Generic rose bushes? Illegal immigrant greenhouses? Or worse (gasp!) Walmart?!!

What IS the difference between the $60/dozen roses and the $20/dozen roses?? I'd like to think the $20 roses are the ones that people gravitate towards. Why not? If you save yourself forty bucks while showing Honey that you cared enough to get roses, you win twice. I'd smack ya if I found out you pissed away sixty bucks on flowers! 60 bucks could go a lot farther than some flowers the cats will end up eating. But thats just me. Buy the cheap roses, better yet, buy sunflowers, and spend the extra duckies on good chocolate. Godiva is a good way to say I love you. And I'll get to eat them, not the cats.

And I won't even get on the subject of those goddam Vermont Teddy Bears.

If you love someone you don't have to spend a bunch of money on them. You don't need just one day a year to dictate how you feel about someone. Treats and hot sex are just a bonus....Especially together (d'oh!)

Have a good day everyone. Hug your sweety and tell them how happy you are they're in your life!!

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