Thursday, May 12, 2005

The View from the Car

Welcome to another episode of The View from the Car. Where I blog of various things I've seen from the car. (Obviously)

Fender Bender- Last week I watched a car accident happen. It wasn't a big one, but surreal nonetheless. Some chickie in a big old Saturn Vue, talking on her cell phone, rammed into the back of the mini van in front of her. The minivan did a slow mo ram into the back of the pizza delivery hatchback in front of her. I didn't get to see the fallout, but Saturn Vue chick was laughing when she was getting out of her truck. Another reason morons shouldn't drive.

Fat Men on the Sidewalk- Yesterday was a beautiful Spring afternoon. Beautiful Spring afternoons bring people out of their houses. Some of which should dress. While stopped on Main Street yesterday I noticed (It was hard NOT to notice) two very large men, without shirts, sitting in chaise lounges on the sidewalk, drinking beer. They are both lucky we are so far inland or they would have been in danger of being harpooned. I don't have a problem with big people, for I am one, but for Dog's sake, look in a mirror once in awhile. Put a shirt on if you're hanging out (literally) on the sidewalk during rush hour traffic. Pale white man breasts don't make for good afternoon viewing for ANYONE.

Bickering in the backseat- Again on Main Street. Two crumb snatchers in the back of a minivan in front of me were engaged in some serious hand to hand combat. "If this vans are beating the shit out of each other" Parental unit at the wheel was seemingly oblivious. Too bad they turned off, I would have been interested in the outcome. I know my mom wouldn't have stood for that kind of crap. Both us kids would have ended up on the bad end of that deal.

Strange man pushing a baby stroller- Right after the narwhales on the sidewalk, I noticed a rather scruffy little man, pushing a stoller. There was a little girl sitting in the stroller, and she didn't look unhappy. He was just walking along, smoking a cig, and she's looking all around. I wondered if his wife/girlfriend was tired of him being in the house and made him take the child for a walk.

Bad Driving Technique- Also yesterday, in the aforementioned section of Main Street, I saw a guy driving a work van. He was eating an apple (left hand) and holding his 2 way phone (the kind you speak into like a walkie talkie) in his right. I hoped he was at least driving with his knees.

So thats for this exciting episode of The View from the Car. (I had more, but my train of thought has been derailed several times in the writing of this episode...)

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