Tis the Season...For Eating....

Dear Santa,

For Christmas this year I'd like a new ass. Preferably a smaller version that the one I have. I know I'd have to maintain it and nuture it in small ass ways, but I sure would like to fit into those small tight, faded just perfectly Levi's that I have stashed in my room. They're swell. Thanks bunches, Love, Ames.


This week signals the start of the holiday crap eating. Now by crap, don't get me wrong, it's good stuff. Candy and cookies made lovingly by people who care. Treats sent to the office by grateful vendors, whose pockets we've lined all year long. It's all around. I'm surrounded.

And for a girl with very little willpower, and 6 months worth of built up sexual tension, it's a bitch.

Eating junk at work is just a start. Then you go visiting, and no matter who you visit, they give you food. More candy, cookies, chips, pretzels and the like.

All you skinny people are going, "Just don't take it. Just don't eat it." Yeah, yeah. I hear ya. I'm trying. Really I am. I'm graced with the fact I don't need to visit many people. Thats a good thing. And I can stay away from where the work treats are kept. (Can't have that stuff in the general flow of the office, it would disrupt the work process you know....)

I have good things for dinner tonight. Boneless, skinless chicken thawing. Mmmm. Spinach already washed and ready to go for salad. My good intentions are all there. As they have for so long.

But then the little voice in my head says, "But it's Christmas...it's okay to eat some treats..."

Pass the fat pants. I'm ready for 'em. I can put them away in spring, after the winter depression has come and gone, and I don't eat because I don't care about anything.

Yeah. Thats about right......