Thursday, November 04, 2004

I'm sick

I'm sick of being sad.
I'm sick of waking up every morning, and then being sad immediately.
I'm sick of bursting into tears at any given time.
I'm sick of people looking at me knowing I could burst into tears at any given time.
I'm sick of inflicting my pain on you guys, my fearless readers.
I'm sick of thinking about death, dying and events leading up to death or dying.
I'm sick of the whole thing.
I want my dad back. and I know it's not possible.

Okay. I went and cried awhile. I feel better. This really sucks. I'm not a melancholy person, so I'm in uncharted terroritories here. When my brother died I slept for a week, got up and started getting high and drinking. Since I don't do the former and rarely do the latter anymore, thats not really an option. I can't wait until tomorrow at this time. It'll be all done.

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