Tuesday, January 24, 2006

General Malaise

I've been trying. Really I have. It seems like I'm just going thru the motions. Perhaps just a downturn in my bio-rhythms or some such shit. But lately, very little is getting me sparky like it has in the past. Sure, it was cool for the Steelers to win yesterday, but I'm talking overall sparky. Day to day spark. It just ain't there, kiddos.

Back in high school, I hated gym class. And when you hate a class, you skip it as often as you can. The gym teacher was an old, pruney lady who had taught my MOTHER in gym class many moons before, and really was only interested in making time til she retired. Or died. It was apparent either could happen any day. She was very tan and wore bright red lipstick and smoked. Yeah, a smoking gym teacher. I can imagine the hue and cry going up from the school board these days, but 'back' then it was just a thing. She powerhuffed cigarettes between periods with the door closed in her office. Never smoked during class, just in between.

Anyway, (Yes I am going somewhere with this) She was very good about letting you out of class. I think she figured the less people in her class, the less time she'd be away from smoking. Lots of times there were just 10 people out of 30 that ended up actually staying in class. We all lined up before the period started, and she sat at her desk and put a little checkmark by our name in her book. The usual excuse was cramps. (3 out of four years of high school I had cramps for gym class every other week.) She'd send us to the nurse, and we'd all stay down there and hang out and chatter. Now the nurse always had to put something in HER book too, so we'd say "Cramps" or "I don't feel good", and that was sufficient. I got a look at her book later in my high school career, and her usual entery was "General Malaise". I liked the term immediately. And looked it up. General Malaise covers just feeling shitty. Out of sorts. And lately, I've got a major case of General Malaise.

How do you rid yourself of General Malaise? Hell if I know. I tried to rid myself of it via retail therapy on Saturday. But as I sit here in my nice wool turtleneck and hippie skirt which cost me a whopping $4.48 at the Salvation Army thrift store, I'm still not having that YEE HAW kinda moment. I'm not the least bit thrilled that we're having gourmet burgers on the grill, which usually would me me grin.

I would be okay with just staying home and sitting on the couch, working on the latest bead project. Thats all. And that dosen't make me sparky, either. It's just preferable to going to work today. Hell, SEED CATALOGUES don't even do it for me. Or blogging.

Used to be that I really, really looked forward to blogging. And reading others blogs. But lately, I read people's blogs, and comment sporadically (Just because I don't comment dosen't mean I don't love you anymore) but I feel like I'm just going thru the motions. Same here. This post is the most inspired I've been in some time. It just isn't doing it for me right now. I'm not going to stop blogging, or close this site up, but I guess I'll keep plugging along. The posts might be smaller. And maybe not every day, but I figure sooner or later, the General Malaise will lift and things will return to whatever normal means.

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