I have a love/hate relationship with Walmart. Generally, I hate them. Mostly because of their business practices, and the fact that they lay waste to local merchants when they squat in the neighborhood. But sometimes I go and wander thru the SUPER MEGA WALMART. I have a choice of two now. (How fucked up is that...TWO Walmart Supercenters within 15 miles of each other. Madness I say) Anyway, Sunday morning I felt the powerful craving for guacamole. I loves me some guac. And for some odd reason, one cannot purchase ripe avocadoes anywhere in Central PA except Walmart. Trust me. I've looked. I've squeezed avocadoes in every grocery store in the tri-county area. Sadly, Wally is the only place. Thats where I ended up on Sunday morning. Poking fruit in the Mechanicsburg Walmart. They were even on sale, two for a buck, for goodness sakes. So I found myself four nice almost-but-not-quite-mushy avocadoes and strolled up to the checkout.

There was a nice lady at the register, who reminded me of Mrs. Claus. White hair, glasses on the end of her nose. She was cute. After she's rung up the order, she looks at the avocados. "What are these?" she asked, wrinkling up her nose. So I extolled the virtues of avocadoes to her. She looked at me and narrowed her eyes..."Furriners buy a lot of them." I looked at her, "Yes, they grow them in Florida too, but mostly in California" "No," she said looking all around, "FURRINERS" "ooh...foreigners..yes, I guess so. Mexican food uses them alot." "Yeah" she said, "THEM" and gave me an evil look.

Alrighty then. Since I had procured what I came to the dreaded Wally for, I bade her farewell, wished her a nice day, and scurried out to the car. I do believe that I could be totally done with Wally after that little episode. I'll schedule my guac cravings in advance, and buy the unripe ones, an let them ripen in a brown paper sack. Sheesh.